No es cierto que los hombres no estén dispuestos a cambiar. Es cierto que muchos hombres tienen miedo de cambiar. Es cierto que muchísimos hombres ni siquiera han comenzado a observar cómo el patriarcado les impide conocerse así mismos, estar en contacto con sus sentimientos, amar. Para conocer el amor, los hombres deben ser capaces de abandonar el deseo de dominar. Deben poder elegir la vida sobre la muerte. Deben estar dispuestos a cambiar.
Todo el mundo necesita amar y ser amado, incluso los hombres. Pero para conocer el amor, los hombres deben poder ver las formas en que la cultura patriarcal les impide conocerse así mismos, estar en contactos con sus sentimientos, amar.
En «El deseo de cambiar», bell hooks llega al meollo del asunto y muestra a los hombres como expresar las emociones, una parte fundamental de quién son, independientemente de su edad, estado civil, etnia o orientación …
No es cierto que los hombres no estén dispuestos a cambiar. Es cierto que muchos hombres tienen miedo de cambiar. Es cierto que muchísimos hombres ni siquiera han comenzado a observar cómo el patriarcado les impide conocerse así mismos, estar en contacto con sus sentimientos, amar. Para conocer el amor, los hombres deben ser capaces de abandonar el deseo de dominar. Deben poder elegir la vida sobre la muerte. Deben estar dispuestos a cambiar.
Todo el mundo necesita amar y ser amado, incluso los hombres. Pero para conocer el amor, los hombres deben poder ver las formas en que la cultura patriarcal les impide conocerse así mismos, estar en contactos con sus sentimientos, amar.
En «El deseo de cambiar», bell hooks llega al meollo del asunto y muestra a los hombres como expresar las emociones, una parte fundamental de quién son, independientemente de su edad, estado civil, etnia o orientación sexual.
La masculinidad castiga estas emociones fundamentales, y está tan profundamente arraigada en nuestra sociedad que es difícil para los hombres romper con ella. Hooks quiere ayudar a cambiar esto.
Con franqueza y una inteligencia feroz, hooks aborda las preocupaciones más comunes de los hombres: el miedo a la intimidad y la pérdida de su lugar en la sociedad. Cree firmemente que los hombres pueden encontrar el camino a la unidad entre cuerpo y espíritu volviendo a estar en contacto con la parte abierta mente emocional de sí mismos y reivindicando las gratificantes vidas interiores que históricamente han sido dominio exclusivo de las mujeres.
«El deseo de cambiar» es una obra valiente y sorprendente, pensada para ayudar a los hombres a recuperar lo mejor de sí mismos.
I was surprised by how little there was for me in this. It doesn't seem like a truly transcendental idea that men are also people who are harmed by patriarchy? I didn't feel like hooks had much to say about that, and mostly repeated herself: men have feelings and needs they can't express & explore under patriarchy, this paucity of outlets hurts men and others who relate to them, anecdotes illustrating this point and then a few recaps. Maybe I've just already done a fair bit of thinking about men and masculinity, so the core thesis of this document didn't need to inspire much new thought for me?
I appreciate the compassion bell hooks has for men in this book. She strongly emphasizes the ways in which patriarchy hurts men, too, and advocates for reaching out to them, not closing them off. I also thought she did a great job pointing out the ways in which some women prop up the patriarchy as well, with their children and with their partners.
However, I have the same complaints about this book that I have about many nonfiction books - this was organizationally odd and very repetitive. The chapter titles didn’t always seem to correspond to the contents of the chapters or were so vague as to be unhelpful. There was also a lot of overlap between chapters and similar ground covered. This book isn’t described as a collection of essays or speeches collected after the fact, but it has that feel. After the first few chapters you’ve basically gotten …
I appreciate the compassion bell hooks has for men in this book. She strongly emphasizes the ways in which patriarchy hurts men, too, and advocates for reaching out to them, not closing them off. I also thought she did a great job pointing out the ways in which some women prop up the patriarchy as well, with their children and with their partners.
However, I have the same complaints about this book that I have about many nonfiction books - this was organizationally odd and very repetitive. The chapter titles didn’t always seem to correspond to the contents of the chapters or were so vague as to be unhelpful. There was also a lot of overlap between chapters and similar ground covered. This book isn’t described as a collection of essays or speeches collected after the fact, but it has that feel. After the first few chapters you’ve basically gotten the message.
Not mad at the message, but received what there was to receive early on.
This is the kind of book that both articulates what you felt in an eloquent way, while also opening your eyes to things you haven't thought about that much. I feel that this is specially true if you're a man reading this.
I don't know much about "feminism for men" books; this was one of the few at the time of publishing.
The prose is beautiful. As I read it, scenes of my childhood and adolescence came to my mind, moments that I can perfectly recall that shaped my patriarchal understanding of what it is to be a man (and a woman). What we as men are encouraged to do or not to do.
As the book progresses, it questions my current understanding of relating to oneself and to others, aiming at challenging patriarchal values that are so harmful for everyone, regardless of gender.
Highly recommended for any man that …
This is the kind of book that both articulates what you felt in an eloquent way, while also opening your eyes to things you haven't thought about that much. I feel that this is specially true if you're a man reading this.
I don't know much about "feminism for men" books; this was one of the few at the time of publishing.
The prose is beautiful. As I read it, scenes of my childhood and adolescence came to my mind, moments that I can perfectly recall that shaped my patriarchal understanding of what it is to be a man (and a woman). What we as men are encouraged to do or not to do.
As the book progresses, it questions my current understanding of relating to oneself and to others, aiming at challenging patriarchal values that are so harmful for everyone, regardless of gender.
Highly recommended for any man that considers themselves feminist. Before reading this book, I considered myself one. I still do, but this book held up a mirror in front of me, and with care and love pointed out the things that I need to work on to build a better, feminist, future.
The book is successfully tailored to a male audience. It invests way more than I expected in explaining why feminism is for men and why misandrist feminism isn't the only feminism that exists. It didn't bother me and I do think it helps setting up for success the most skeptic reader for the rest of the book. Bell Hooks also puts quite a limelight on female-on-male violence/neglect that arises from patriarchy, which was I also didn't expect but I've come to understand.
The later half of the book is increasingly repetitive and raises a few hypothesis that are food for thought but are really not factual (yet, maybe). Still, considering the lofty goal of disinfecting the male brain of dominance masculinity and everything else patriarchy related, I think the book is appropriately repetitive. Each iteration has a slight different seasoning to it anyway, so if the reader has the patience …
The book is successfully tailored to a male audience. It invests way more than I expected in explaining why feminism is for men and why misandrist feminism isn't the only feminism that exists. It didn't bother me and I do think it helps setting up for success the most skeptic reader for the rest of the book. Bell Hooks also puts quite a limelight on female-on-male violence/neglect that arises from patriarchy, which was I also didn't expect but I've come to understand.
The later half of the book is increasingly repetitive and raises a few hypothesis that are food for thought but are really not factual (yet, maybe). Still, considering the lofty goal of disinfecting the male brain of dominance masculinity and everything else patriarchy related, I think the book is appropriately repetitive. Each iteration has a slight different seasoning to it anyway, so if the reader has the patience for it there's still value on revisiting topics from a different angle.
I do feel like I came out of this book a bit more aware of the traits of patriarchal masculinity and got some insight on why there are certain "instincts" or "reflexes" that I have to work so hard on deconstructing.
Un livre intéressant sur les mécanismes qui pourraient faire que les hommes se comportent aussi mal en amour, ont peur de l'engagement et manquent de respect à leurs partenaires. Ce qui est regrettable c'est que ce sont encore une fois les femmes qui s'en soucient et prennent la charge mentale d'éduquer les hommes. Libérez les frangines !
Perplexing generalisations mixed with solid if not repetitive analyses of masculinity in the wake of centuries of patriarchal cultural propaganda. hooks calls for feminist blueprints for transforming masculinity including shedding the model of domination that frames all relationships as power struggles, extricating oneself from violently fragile identities yoked to the pursuit of external power, and building a whole, introspective, expressive, receptive self in partnership and interdependency with the earth and our communities.
recommended reading material for all genders that live under patriarchy, to understand in which ways men are affected by patriatchy and how we treat them (or what we expect of them) in our heteronormative society. (i.e. how to make men into comrades rather than the Big Enemy) complicate + upgrade your feminism!
