La volonté de changer

I appreciate the compassion bell hooks has for men in this book. She strongly emphasizes the ways in which patriarchy hurts men, too, and advocates for reaching out to them, not closing them off. I also thought she did a great job pointing out the ways in which some women prop up the patriarchy as well, with their children and with their partners.

However, I have the same complaints about this book that I have about many nonfiction books - this was organizationally odd and very repetitive. The chapter titles didn’t always seem to correspond to the contents of the chapters or were so vague as to be unhelpful. There was also a lot of overlap between chapters and similar ground covered. This book isn’t described as a collection of essays or speeches collected after the fact, but it has that feel. After the first few chapters you’ve basically gotten the message.

Not mad at the message, but received what there was to receive early on.

This is the kind of book that both articulates what you felt in an eloquent way, while also opening your eyes to things you haven't thought about that much. I feel that this is specially true if you're a man reading this.

I don't know much about "feminism for men" books; this was one of the few at the time of publishing.

The prose is beautiful. As I read it, scenes of my childhood and adolescence came to my mind, moments that I can perfectly recall that shaped my patriarchal understanding of what it is to be a man (and a woman). What we as men are encouraged to do or not to do.

As the book progresses, it questions my current understanding of relating to oneself and to others, aiming at challenging patriarchal values that are so harmful for everyone, regardless of gender.

Highly recommended for any man that considers themselves feminist. Before reading this book, I considered myself one. I still do, but this book held up a mirror in front of me, and with care and love pointed out the things that I need to work on to build a better, feminist, future.

The book is successfully tailored to a male audience. It invests way more than I expected in explaining why feminism is for men and why misandrist feminism isn't the only feminism that exists. It didn't bother me and I do think it helps setting up for success the most skeptic reader for the rest of the book. Bell Hooks also puts quite a limelight on female-on-male violence/neglect that arises from patriarchy, which was I also didn't expect but I've come to understand.

The later half of the book is increasingly repetitive and raises a few hypothesis that are food for thought but are really not factual (yet, maybe). Still, considering the lofty goal of disinfecting the male brain of dominance masculinity and everything else patriarchy related, I think the book is appropriately repetitive. Each iteration has a slight different seasoning to it anyway, so if the reader has the patience for it there's still value on revisiting topics from a different angle.

I do feel like I came out of this book a bit more aware of the traits of patriarchal masculinity and got some insight on why there are certain "instincts" or "reflexes" that I have to work so hard on deconstructing.