Quiet

Un excellent livre, très bien sourcé et documenté, sur l’introversion.

Susan Cain y explique comment l’idéal extraverti a été mis en valeur depuis le début du XXe siècle, au moins dans le monde occidental, et comment cette valorisation d’un idéal qui ne leur ressemble pas impacte la vie et la santé mentale des introvertis.

L’autrice mêle habilement des éléments tirés de recherches plus ou moins récentes en psychologie et des histoires de vie d’introverties qu’elle a rencontrés dans le cadre de ses recherches sur le sujet.

Susan Cain ne se contente pas de dresser un constat et de décrire les traits de personnalité et le fonctionnement des introvertis, elle propose également des clefs pour mieux vivre son introversion. Elle le fait avec des exemples concrets, ce qui est appréciable.

J’ai beaucoup aimé ce livre, parce que je me suis évidemment reconnu dans ce portrait de l’introverti minoritaire dans une société qui valorise l’idéal extraverti. J’aurais sans doute aimé le lire il y a bien longtemps, pour m’aider à accepter ce trait de caractère et mieux vivre avec. Ce livre me semble en tout cas un bon moyen de déculpabiliser celles et ceux qui ne se reconnaissent pas dans l’idéal extraverti mis en avant dans notre société occidentale.

I tend to think there are many misconceptions around introverts; we live in a world that seems to praise extroverts. Susan Cain tries to help people understand the importance of introverts and why we need a balance between the two personality traits. Susan is an introvert herself and found her job as a lawyer expected an extroverted personality. However embracing her introversion, she was able to prove herself a valuable employer and lawyer; so much so that she went on to become a negotiations consultant.

Quiet is a book that seeks out to explain the need for introverts, while also looking at the history between these two personality types. I myself am extremely introverted and my Myers–Briggs Type Indicator is INTJ (this can change over time but I will not go into that at the moment). I found it useful to understand the history in how society deals with introverts; some of which still feels very relevant today. I remember reading sections focusing on the 1950s and 60s, thinking this happened to me and is still happening in today’s society. This leaves me to think that people do not have an understanding on the personalities and how to manage introverts.

Susan Cain goes into a lot of detail with suggestions on how to fit into such an extroverted world, from developing a pseudo-extroverted personality to finding a quiet place to work. Obviously it does depend on your different situations but I think there were some interesting ideas to implement. She also goes into the problems with open offices and productivity levels as well as the extroverted nature of church. I was surprised by just how much this book covered.

I really enjoyed Quiet and feel like I learnt a lot, however it just makes me want to learn more, especially about the history (it is a vicious cycle). I want to give this book to my parents because I think they might actually benefit in learning about the topic. In fact I want to give this book to everyone, I feel like it is an important topic and we need to know that people are different and need to be treated differently. This is another book to fulfil my passion for learning about psychology and I would happily take some recommendations based on this book.

This book originally appeared on my blog; www.knowledgelost.org/book-reviews/genre/non-fiction/quiet-by-susan-cain/

This book could have been a bit shorter. It does make some excellent points, but it also has a lot of filler on it on the way to making the good points. If you are an introvert, and I will disclose that I am introverted, you will find yourself nodding often as you read it. There is going to be a lot of validation for you. If you are an extrovert with an introvert in your life-- a loved one, a family member, maybe a child who seems a bit too quiet or less social-- then this book will go a long way to explain why those people are how they are and also how to love and deal with them.

In addition, I would have rated it higher, but there was a lot in this book that I already knew. I've taken Myers-Briggs and done other exercises and studying to know quite well about my introverted nature. So a good amount of stuff in the book I already knew. Having said that, I did find a few things of interest, and I did learn some new things. It did give me some additional ideas on how to work in a world that, to quote the subtitle of the book, can't stop talking (or rather, a world that just can't shut the hell up). For many, I think the insight may well be how the extroverted ideal is way overrated and overvalued and how workplaces, if they wish to truly succeed, need to balance things by being inclusive with their introverted folks. Also, the parts on how a lot of group work is bullshit, which I have always known since childhood (just never had the evidence to back it up) will provide good insight. It is not that collaboration is bad, but most of what passes for it in current workplaces is horrible and even detrimental. The book does give other options to make things work better.

To those in the know, the book will likely serve mostly as affirmation and validation material, which in itself is not a bad thing. To those needing to learn, this is definitely a good resource, albeit it could have been a bit shorter. I did take some notes, which I may add to my blog at some point for future reference.