Review of 'How To Win Friends & Influence People [Sep 24, 2016] Carnegie, Dale' on 'Goodreads'
3 stars
The advice in this book ranges from great to situational to downright bad.
There's some great advice. Be a good listener, take a genuine interest in other people's interests, admit when you're wrong, try to see and speak to the other person's point of view. All sound, all helpful. All things that reading this book reminded me I should do more.
But throughout the book I found myself realizing how absolutely terrible some of the advice is. He tells an anecdote of a dentist leaving a note for night staff suggesting they work "extra hours to make sure everything is clean." He claims this as a friendly way to encourage better results. It sounds like a passive aggressive threat to me.
And all of the advice about disagreement seems to assume that the disagreement has no stakes besides a hurt feeling or a lost sale. He tells you to avoid …
The advice in this book ranges from great to situational to downright bad.
There's some great advice. Be a good listener, take a genuine interest in other people's interests, admit when you're wrong, try to see and speak to the other person's point of view. All sound, all helpful. All things that reading this book reminded me I should do more.
But throughout the book I found myself realizing how absolutely terrible some of the advice is. He tells an anecdote of a dentist leaving a note for night staff suggesting they work "extra hours to make sure everything is clean." He claims this as a friendly way to encourage better results. It sounds like a passive aggressive threat to me.
And all of the advice about disagreement seems to assume that the disagreement has no stakes besides a hurt feeling or a lost sale. He tells you to avoid telling someone when they're wrong, praise even the smallest improvements constantly, let other people save face, don't point out mistakes directly. Fine for little things. Terrible if those mistakes and disagreements are harmful to other people or actively prejudiced.
